Written 17 September 2004.
Thursday 8:30PM Forresters, Surry Hills
When I first heard about Skip I was told that he was a good kid; the most charismatic trivia host in Sydney. I had a picture of him in my mind – never thought I could be so wrong. I imagined a 25-30 Italian boy with hair combed back, long sideburns, blue eyes, tall, thin, 9 inches, uncut. What I got was an 90-year-old playboy who looked and sounded like Ray Warren’s missing twin brother. He was so decrepit that he had one of the red-rash faces that old people develop which I’m certain should be grounds for deportation to some disease research facility in the Indian Ocean. Forresters did not start the way I intended.
With me for this very simple trivia night were N of Sylvania, P of the public school system, S of Surry Hills, G of somewhere move closer to the city, J of Russellea and Sarah Connor of the future. Some were more helpful than others.
The format was three rounds of 16 questions, with the third round being a quickfire round where Skip asked the question twice and then moved straight onto the next question. I had never encountered this type of round before and I must say a big “good on you” to Skip as it was a novel expansion of standard trivia rounds.
There were two “Who am I” questions for a round of drinks for all at your table. I won this (natch) with Robin Williams. This came despite Skip describing RW as an actor who has never won anything. He’s got an Oscar idiot.
Skip has a penchant for asking ridiculously easy questions or hard questions that he gives away with clues. I found myself writing down the answer one word into 250-word questions. The question would generally end with me telling Skip he was an idiot.
For those that haven’t come out to a function during Trivia Week you won’t know that I’m very sick at the moment with the dreaded Osaka Flu. Because of this I’m going to limit my ramblings today or else my head will explode like in that David Cronenberg movie that only P of this bunch of recipients could possibly have seen.
We ended up finishing second of 15 teams, losing by a point. What made this worse was that in the final round we answered three year questions incorrectly with one-off the correct answer. I was gutted. When Skip asked for a representative of our team, The Oklahomasexuals, I went up begrudgingly to accept the $40 food and drink tab and put it straight in my wallet without thought of sharing it with the other players.
Then we entered the Twilight Zone. Skip came up to our table to describe a playoff series that would eventually determine the Forresters’ Trivia Champions of the year. So doing your best Ray Warren impersonation, read this:
“Well what we do is take the top 3 teams from each week and invite them back for a second quiz, this time two rounds of 12 questions held on a Saturday afternoon, because of the AFL grand final and the election, the date of this is not yet known so if I could get one your names and phone numbers I will invite you back to play when the date is set. To qualify, however, your phone number must be easily divisible by 7 and musty be a factor of 12. If this is the case add the day you were born to the month you were born to the year you were born. If this number is either a prime number or divisible by 11, but not both, then you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon to play in the trivia championships which is sponsored by CUB and will feature a prize in the thousands, I’m not sure how many, at this stage it is 0.1 Thousand Dollars.”
How could I refuse?
So that’s it for Trivia Week. I am in town next week and will be going to at least the Great Northern on Tuesday (y’all invited). I guess I should go to Forresters on Thursday to spend the bar tab that I won on myself because I deserve to treat myself.
(CP: This Week Is Trivia Week, Part II is still be uncovered.)