Completely spoiler-free! Fresh! Original! It’s the first ever Model Triple J Hottest 100

MH100

Patrick on Twitter / Intstagram / Facebook

Back in November 2015 I posted a little 4,000-odd-word post, complete with end notes, analysing trends in Triple J’s Hottest 100s from years past and attempting to predict, before a vote had been cast, what the Top 10 might be. It was a joy to research and write, and when it caught the attention of Triple J, MusicFeeds, ToneDeaf, the Sydney Morning Herald and The Guardian, among others, I was surprised and thrilled. My goal was to write an essay demonstrating my love of the Hottest 100 and the songs inherent and to spread some of that love to this website’s readership. After the negativity that surrounded the 2014 countdown, I wanted to promote the Hottest 100’s positive attributes, like its fostering of friendships shared listening to music, the promotion of Australian music and the unmatched brilliance of a day spent beer in one hand, sausage sandwich in the other, one eye on the cricket, the other eye on the tennis, both feet in the pool and 100 songs blasted through your aural canals. I am very pro-Hottest 100 and my post was in many ways the manifestation of my rejection of the cynicism that has laced recent criticisms of the event.

This follow-up post is the follow-up to that first prediction, which was only the Top 10, and includes a full 100 songs. I want to make a couple of points clear about the Model Triple J Hottest 100 (MH100), which I am bolding in the next few paragraphs so people skim reading still catch the gist…

My list is not based on counting votes harvested from shared ballots on social media. Whilst I have seen quite a few ballots on Twitter and Instagram in my normal social mediaing, I have not counted any of these votes, nor have I attempted to recognise trends. Because I actually enjoy the surprise factor of the countdown, I have actually tried to avoid sighting these shared votes (and the betting markets, for that matter), though I have naturally absorbed some of these franchising opportunities by osmosis and some of this will no doubt have filtered through subconsciously to my list.

My countdown is not intended to be especially accurate. I’m calling my list a Model Hottest 100 because it’s a bit like when Lisa joined the Model United Nations in The Simpsons: it’s a hypothetical approximation of the Hottest 100. It might be spot on, it might be way off, chances are it’s somewhere in the middle (my personal pride over/under market is 65.5 of the tracks make the actual Hottest 100, with my Top 10 all in the Top 30). I’ve built it based on historical trends, taking into account the sex of the vocalist(s), the performers’ nationalities, the genre, commercial performance, Feature Album status, the number of singles released from the album, the number of unique artists and countries making the cut, and many more statistical quirks besides.

My countdown is supposed to be fun! One of the major changes from my original Top 10 to my revised list is that Macklemore & Ryan Lewis have gone Downtown, quite literally, from the penthouse to, well not quite the outhouse, but a more affordable apartment nonetheless. Pretty much the only negative feedback I got from the first post was that I had shamefully included Downtown in the Top 10. I definitely overestimated the resilience of Macklemore’s appeal, and while I am certain Downtown will make the actual cut, I have lost all faith in Downtown’s ability to take out a flagship position. Please don’t take this too seriously! I welcome any comments and witty feedback but know that this is all so inconsequential — you’re not Kendrick — you don’t gotta have a bone to pick!

For all these reasons, my countdown is not meant to spoil the Hottest 100! I actually hope I’m wrong — very wrong — so that the countdown is a surprise for me and for everyone else as well. When I first fell in love with the Hottest 100 (and it’s been a loving, caring relationship that has lasted longer than any interpersonal one!), the surprise factor was a huge part of the appeal. Until the advent of betting markets and Warmest 100s and Spotify playlists and sharing on social media and Buzzfeed campaigns — that is, before the build-up of the Hottest 100 industrial complex — it really was a guessing game as to which songs would end up where. I remember a music-loving friend having never heard of The Whitlams, let alone having heard No Aphrodisiac, when Gough himself announced his namesakes had overcome favourites Blur and Chumbawamba to the big prize. Although I don’t share my contemporaries’ retrospective cultural cringe for The Offspring’s Pretty Fly (For A White Guy), a song I still like, I was desperate for Cigarettes Will Kill You, Ben Lee’s masterpiece of late 90s shoegazing ante-emo whinging, to hit #1. I’ll even admit to having no idea what song had vanquished Straight Lines, surely an unbeatable winner from the day of its release, when Silverchair was played in the penultimate position for 2008 (in my defence, Knights of Cydonia was released by Muse 18 months earlier — how was I to know it was still eligible?!). Simply put, a lot of the surprise factor, and with it the fun factor, has evanesced over the past five years, and I lament that change, and I was intrigued and affirmed to hear Triple J employees telling me that they actually actively avoid seeing the votes come in because they (a) don’t want it ruined and (b) are terribly afraid they’ll give something away to others, spoiling it for them.

There used to be a time when you listened to the Hottest 100 as one last chance to hear all your favourites before the new year brought with it a new release schedule to wash them all away. Six months later (!) the CD would be released and you could indulge again in the ~40 curated songs; a compendium of the year that you would listen to on repeat until you couldn’t listen to it anymore and then you would shelve it in your CD tower stacker underneath all the previous ones you’d collected. Then, after a patient wait, you thought you had forgotten the words to Walking On The Sun and you excitedly tore it out again and slipped it into your Sony Discman, pumped up the volume and realised “it ain’t no joke I’d like to buy the the world a toga”, or at least that’s what I thought the line was as a naive schoolboy. With instant access to every song ever, via music streaming services, YouTube, piracy, or a la carte iTunes song purchasing for only $2 and change (in my day, a CD single cost $7.95!), we don’t have to rely on radio stations or compilation CDs to get our fix. And of course this Spotify Age is miles better than our slave-to-the-machine recent past, but just because you’ve gained a lot from advances doesn’t mean the obsolete technology was completely without merit: there’s a reason people still like wearing watches with hands and dials and no Apple logo.

Hopefully this wall of text acts as a suitable alert for people not wanting to see my Model Hottest 100, for fear it will spoil the big day, despite my best intentions. Here follows is my list, with more stats and analysis and prose to follow afterwards (and please forgive my very basic multimedia user experience)…

Patrick’s Model Hottest 100 of 2015

100 MajorLazerPowerful

100. Powerful – Major Lazer, Ellie Goulding & Tarrus Riley

99 Highcover

99. Another World – Royal Headache

98 Ratchet Commandments

98. Ratchet Commandments – Tink

97 Cream

97. Cream On Chrome – Ratatat

96 DitmasMumford

96. Ditmas – Mumford & Sons

95 Walk

95. Walk The Wire – Boy & Bear

94 Distant_Past_single_cover

94. Distant Past – Everything Everything

93 Foals_-_Mountain_at_My_Gates_cover_art

93. Mountain At My Gates – Foals

92 Queen_of_Peace_song

92. Queen Of Peace – Florence + The Machine

91cmn

91. Call My Name – Mosquito Coast

90 bodyache

90. Bodyache – Purity Ring

89 Long Loud Hours

89. Long Loud Hours – Urthboy & Bertie Blackman

88 FIDLARtoo

88. West Coast – FIDLAR

87 CaliforniaNightsBestCoast.jpeg

87. Heaven Sent – Best Coast

86 SnakeHipsAllMyFriends

86. All My Friends – Snakehips, Tinashe & Chance The Rapper

Mercy_muse_single

85. Mercy – Muse

84dyr

84. Do You Remember (Like A Version) – Wombats

83 scud

83. Scud Books – Hudson Mohawke

82 MØ_-_Kamikaze

82. Kamikaze – MØ

81 no great myster

81. No Great Mystery – My Own Pet Radio

80 Eves-The-Behavior-Electrical

80. Electrical – Eves The Behavior

79 The_Blacker_The_Berry_Kendrick_Lamar_Art

79. The Blacker The Berry – Kendrick Lamar

78 Alabama_Shakes_-_Dont_Wanna_Fight_single_cover

78. Don’t Wanna Fight – Alabama Shakes

77 breathe life

77. Breathe Life – Jack Garratt

76 Omen_(Disclosure)_cover_art

76. Omen – Disclosure & Sam Smith

75 Bring_Me_The_Horiozn_Happy_Song_Cover

75. Happy Song – Bring Me The Horizon

74 tattoo

74. Tattoo – Tuka

73 hallelujah

73. Hallelujah – Rubens

72 apollo

72. Apollo – Last Dinosaurs

71 nobody

71. Nobody Really Cares If You Don’t Go To The Party – Courtney Barnett

70 Regardless_Jarryd_James_and_Julia_Stone_cover_art

70. Regardless – Jarryd James & Julia Stone

69 Downtown-Macklemore-Ryan-Lewis

69. Downtown – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis & Friends

68 Unknown_Mortal_Orchestra_-_Multi-Love_album_cover

68. Multi-Love – Unknown Mortal Orchestra

67 Greek_Tragedy_single_cover.jpeg

67. Greek Tragedy – Wombats

66 Blieveimgoindown

66. Pretty Pimpin – Kurt Vile

65 emoticons

65. Emoticons – Wombats

64 wave racer

64. Flash Drive – Wave Racer & Baby

63 Give_Me_A_Try_single_cover.jpeg

63. Give Me A Try – Wombats

62 Embracing_Me_by_SAFIA

62. Embracing Me – SAFIA

61 Yes I'm Changing

61. Yes I’m Changing – Tame Impala

60 Counting_Sheep_by_SAFIA

60. Counting Sheep – SAFIA

59 dumb

59. Dumb – Seth Sentry

58 kooky eyes

58. Kooky Eyes – Jungle Giants

58 evie

57. Evie – Last Dinosaurs

56 Something_About_You_by_Hayden_James

56. Something About You – Hayden James

55 restraint

55. Radioface – Gang Of Youths

54 Bend_by_Chet_Faker_(cover)

54. Bend – Chet Faker

53 alright

53. Alright – Kendrick Lamar

52 Ocean Drive

52. Ocean Drive – Duke Dumont

51 Jamie_xx_-_In_Colour

51. Loud Places – Jamie xx & Romy

50 CHVRCHES_-_Every_Open_Eye

50. Clearest Blue – CHVRCHES

49 Obelisk

49. Obelisk – Northlane

48 run

48. Run – Alison Wonderland

47 Florence_and_the_Machine_-_How_Big_How_Blue_How_Beautiful_(Official_Album_Cover)

47. How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful – Florence + The Machine

46 Magnets_single_cover

46. Magnets – Disclosure & Lorde

45 too much time

45. Too Much Time Together – San Cisco

44 vice grip

44. Vice Grip – Parkway Drive

43 What_went_down_cover

43. What Went Down – Foals

42 shot fox

42. Shot Fox – Alpine

41 dead fox

41. Dead Fox – Courtney Barnett

40 soon we won't exist

40. Soon We Won’t Exist – Tiny Little Houses

39 monday

39. Monday – Matt Corby

38 swear jar

38. Swear Jar – Illy

37 anchor

37. Anchor – Birds Of Tokyo

36 shine on

36. Shine On – Amity Affliction

35 damn baby

35. Damn Baby – Alpine

34 forces

34. Forces – Japanese Wallpaper & Airling

33 cause i'm a man

33. Cause I’m A Man – Tame Impala

32 lay down

32. Lay Down – DMAs

31 FleshWithoutBlood

31. Flesh Without Blood – Grimes

30 Halsey_-_Ghost

30. Ghost – Halsey

29 deception bay

29. Deception Bay – Boo Seeka

28 true friends

28. True Friends – Bring Me The Horizon

27 young

27. Young – Vallis Alps

26 Fire_and_the_Flood_by_Vance_Joy_cover

26. Fire And The Flood – Vance Joy

25 snow

25. Snow – San Cisco

24 depreston

24. Depreston – Courtney Barnett

23 Rufus-You-Were-Right-news

23. You Were Right – RÜFÜS

22 some minds

22. Some Minds – Flume & Andrew Wyatt

21 leave a trace

21. Leave A Trace – CHVRCHES

20 Ship_to_Wreck_single_cover

20. Ship To Wreck – Florence + The Machine

19 The_Hills_single_cover

19. The Hills – Weeknd

18 Can't_Feel_My_Face_by_The_Weeknd

18. Can’t Feel My Face – Weeknd

17 eventually

17. Eventually – Tame Impala

16 say my name

16. Say My Name – Peking Duk & Benjamin Joseph

15 good times

15. I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times) – Jame xx, Young Thug & Popcaan

14 twilight driving

14. Twilight Driving – Methyl Ethel

13 like soda

13. Like Soda – Violent Soho

12 the buzz

12. The Buzz – Hermitude, Young Tapz & Mataya

11 What_Kind_of_Man

11. What Kind Of Man – Florence + The Machine

10 Drake_-_Hotline_Bling

10. Hotline Bling – Drake

9 less i know the better

9. The Less I Know The Better – Tame Impala

8 magnolia

8. Magnolia – Gang Of Youths

7 pedestrian at best

7. Pedestrian At Best – Courtney Barnett

6 trouble with us

6. The Trouble With Us – Marcus Marr & Chet Faker

5 hoops

5. Hoops – Rubens

4 Do_You_Remember_by_Jarryd_James

4. Do You Remember – Jarryd James

3 king kunta

3. King Kunta – Kendrick Lamar

2 Tame_Impala_-_Let_It_Happen_cover_art

2. Let It Happen – Tame Impala

1 Major_Lazer_and_DJ_Snake_-_Lean_On_(feat._MØ)

1. Lean On – Major Lazer, DJ Snake & MØ

Model Hottest 100 Stats

  • Using broadly applied genre classifications, the MH100 contains 60 Indie/Alternative/Rock tracks, 26 Electronic/Dance songs and 14 Hip-Hop/Rap/RnB jams. This is very much in keeping with the persistent trend away from traditional Triple J guitar-based music and towards more MacBook Air-based music production, which my good friends at ToneDeaf covered earlier this month.
  • The 100 songs are belted out by 63 male voices and 29 females; there are 6 male/female combos and 2 instrumentals. The male count is well short of the all-time mean of 79.14 per cent, while 6 combos is in keeping with the past five years’ major surge in both sexes singing on a track (30 combos have placed over the past 5 H100s; there were only 9 in the 5 years before that). Two instrumentals would equal the all-time records set in 1994 and 1997 (Sweetness & Light / Mathar; Nightmare / Da Funk). It might be wishful thinking but my modelling of 29 female songs would make Hottest 100 history and, incidentally, would track with the steady but slow trend towards greater sex equality in the Hottest 100. The current record-holding year is 2011, when 26 songs carried only female voices. Over the 22 years of the Hottest 100, 17.18 per cent of the tracks have carried female-only vocals (378 songs).
  • Eight different countries are represented in the MH100: Australia (55), United Kingdom (27), United States (19) Canada (4), New Zealand (3), Denmark (2), Jamaica (2) and France (1) [the numbers add up to 113 because of collaborations and the like]. Over the past five countdowns, there have been (2014 first) 10, 7, 10, 9 and 7 different countries making the cut. The countries in question are broadly on trend: Australia, the UK and the US have long been the Big 3; we know New Zealanders will do anything to disrupt anything Australian; and — would you believe?! — one of the five Scandinavian/Nordic/North Sea countries (Sweden, Finland, Norway, Denmark and Iceland) has been repped in 20 of the 22 Hottest 100s, only missing out in 1998 and 2001! If it’s not MØ from Denmark it will be Iceland’s Of Monsters And Men, Norwegians Highasakite, hard rocking Finns Lordi or beloved Swedish troupe Miike Snow (and yes I know Andrew Wyatt is American).
  • I’ve got Major Lazer at #100 and #1, mirroring Powderfinger’s tops and tails from 1999.
  • Triple J Unearthed High winners Mosquito Coast sneak in at #91. Japanese Wallpaper, the year prior Unearthed High victor, was at #97.
  • Both Jarryd James’ original and Wombat’s Like A Version cover of Do You Remember make the list. This last happened in 2013, when Get Lucky hit #3 (Daft Punk & Pharrell Williams) and #39 (San Cisco), and it has happened twice before as well (Harpoon & Take Me Out). On that note, I only have one Like A Version in the MH100, down from three last year. Again: wishful thinking.
  • I have Weeknd with consecutive hits at #18 and #19. An act having back-to-back tracks in the Hottest 100 has occurred in 12 of the 22 previous countdown. Never has an act gone 3-in-a-row, though Quan Yeomans hit #26, #27 and #28 as part of Regurgitator and Happyland.
  • Shot Fox by Alpine at #42 leading into Dead Fox by Courtney Barnett at #41 recalls Ramona Was A Waitress by Paul Dempsey at #32 leading into The Waitress Song by Seth Sentry at #31 in 2009. These are the only two song in H100 history have ‘waitress’ in the title.
  • There are 71 distinctly different acts in the MH100. There was 72 in 2014 (this happened by pure serendipity). There were 84 in 1993 — we’re becoming boring!
  • Former winners Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are back for their first appearance since topping 2012 with Thrift Shop. Their return means Denis Leary is the only winner to appear in only one Hottest 100. Other past winners to make the MH100 are Muse, Chet Faker, Vance Joy, Julia Stone and Mumford & Sons. Six former winners is up from two in 2014, one in 2013, two in 2012 and zero in 2011.
  • Lean On at #1 will mean France and Denmark become the sixth and seventh countries to provide a winner, after (in order) United States, Ireland, United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand. France’s record highest is #3 Get Lucky by Daft Punk in 2013. Denmark’s is, and you’ll like this, #72 Lucas With The Lid Off by Lucas in 1994.
  • There are two Australian #1 hits in the MH100 (Downtown & Lean On) and that tracks with all but one Hottest 100 (2009) including a chart-topper.
  • Tame Impala has five tracks in the MH100, while Courtney Barnett, Florence and Wombats all have four. This aligns with those artists’ historically strong performance, appearance in the Triple J 2015 Albums Poll and Feature Album status.
  • Just for fun, Hoops is at #5 in the MH100 and in my #P100. We both had Surrender by Smith Street Band at #69 last year!

And for the record, here is my ballot:

Screen Shot 2015-12-31 at 3.34.13 PM

Don’t forget to vote!

One thought on “Completely spoiler-free! Fresh! Original! It’s the first ever Model Triple J Hottest 100

  1. Pingback: Guy Who Spoiled The Hottest 100 Wants You To Stop Spoiling The Hottest 100

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s